I am a man, an adult male, and I have no qualms in proclaiming the following: there is nothing scarier than a little girl.
To clarify – specifically, I mean little girls used in horror films, oft in shadows, appearing at the end of a bed in the dead of night or ghostly visions with bedraggled hair. They freak me out; give me a deformed monster in a film any day of the week and I won't bat an eyelid. But, so help me God, Vishnu, Tom Cruise and all the other faces of religions, I will run for the hills if I see an undead pre-teen girl. Which is exactly what Phones 4 U's latest advertising campaign features.
I had the misfortune to first see this advert when half-watching while eating my dinner. It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it beginning, so all I was aware of was the woman hurrying to her car in an empty underground car park, so it came as a heart attack to me when the creepy prepubescent popped up in the back seat. What's more, I work around the corner from the flagship Phones 4 U store on Tottenham Court Road and they've emblazoned their shop front with photographs from their latest campaign, images that send me scurrying back to the office to quiver in fear underneath my desk and jumping every time the phone rings.
I don't seem to be alone in my agitation, as the Advertising Standards Agency has received hundreds of complaints about this advert. According to Marketing Week, the ads are "unsuitable for children to see". It's not the children I'm worried about – unless they're dressed in Victorian nightdresses, their faces are covered by lank strands of hair and there are whispers of playground melodies infiltrating the air – it's me.
I, for one, cannot wait for Halloween and the month of October to be over.
To clarify – specifically, I mean little girls used in horror films, oft in shadows, appearing at the end of a bed in the dead of night or ghostly visions with bedraggled hair. They freak me out; give me a deformed monster in a film any day of the week and I won't bat an eyelid. But, so help me God, Vishnu, Tom Cruise and all the other faces of religions, I will run for the hills if I see an undead pre-teen girl. Which is exactly what Phones 4 U's latest advertising campaign features.
I had the misfortune to first see this advert when half-watching while eating my dinner. It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it beginning, so all I was aware of was the woman hurrying to her car in an empty underground car park, so it came as a heart attack to me when the creepy prepubescent popped up in the back seat. What's more, I work around the corner from the flagship Phones 4 U store on Tottenham Court Road and they've emblazoned their shop front with photographs from their latest campaign, images that send me scurrying back to the office to quiver in fear underneath my desk and jumping every time the phone rings.
I don't seem to be alone in my agitation, as the Advertising Standards Agency has received hundreds of complaints about this advert. According to Marketing Week, the ads are "unsuitable for children to see". It's not the children I'm worried about – unless they're dressed in Victorian nightdresses, their faces are covered by lank strands of hair and there are whispers of playground melodies infiltrating the air – it's me.
I, for one, cannot wait for Halloween and the month of October to be over.
I have a mortal fear of puppets and German expressionist films. Hence why I would often be found sobbing in a corner after the Smirnoff Judderman adverts were on.
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